Five Minute Miracles
by lms2457
Summary: He's staring down at her, because she's in her bare feet. This is happening in her bare feet and pajamas, her hair just beginning to air dry. In her wildest, most bizarre dreams, she could not have imagined this. - An alternate proposal story written before Watershed aired. Oneshot.


**Five Minute Miracles**

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own it, and they're way more evil than me

**AN:** This was written between the airing of The Human Factor and Watershed. While I love the proposal we ultimately got, I never could let go of the image in my head of a barefooted, damp-haired Kate taken completely off guard. This completely disregards Watershed, save for the fact that there was indeed a conversation with the swings, because that has been a spoiler at the time this was written.

_For Alex, because she loved it._

* * *

It's been two hours since their attempt to talk this through at the swings. And it had not been a total waste of a conversation. He talked to her about his past relationships, his marriages. How things really ended. She'd told him about not wanting to live with the uncertainty any longer, needing to move forward with a life that feels like it has been stuck in one place since her mother's murder. Needing to make decisions that were not mired in the past.

In the end, they'd decided to give it time. She had come back to her apartment and tried not to think about where it all might lead. On the one hand, it has been a long two hours. On the other hand it has only been two hours. Even distracting herself with a long, hot shower hadn't really helped. And now, she is completely unprepared when he knocks on her door.

She's still running a towel through her hair when she opens the door. "Castle," she starts, because she had wanted him to take the time, think this through, and two hours doesn't feel like enough for how serious this is, this place that they have found themselves in.

"Kate," his voice comes almost in perfect sync, so like them it almost hurts. "I'm sorry I tried to call, but -"

She had been in the shower, missed the call. So now he's at her door. "It's fine Castle. But we talked about this, and I really think that you need to take some time and -"

"I've taken time, Kate. I've had nothing but time for five years. Give me five minutes. Please."

She bites her lip reflexively as she considers. Finally, she nods and steps back to let him in. At least she's had the chance to dress, despite her damp hair. However this went from here, she is pretty sure that she wouldn't have wanted to do this wearing a towel. It is hard enough when he is this close and she doesn't need - she shakes her head to clear it. Then she turns expectant eyes to her partner.

"What do you want, Castle?"

The words ring as familiar to her the moment that they leave her mouth, and for half a second, she thinks she can guess his reply. But he surprises her.

"You are right. You aren't Meredith and you aren't Gina. I know that. But you are still you, Kate. And every time I have tried to move us forward, every time that it's been me making that call? It doesn't exactly work in my favor. I tell you I love you, and you run. And then you lied about it for a year. And for a few horrible months - I thought maybe I'd lost you. That maybe I was never supposed to have this at all. And then, just when we got through that, when I told you again, you made a choice Kate and it wasn't me. And yeah, somehow we made it through that too. And I am so, so damn grateful for that. But then, at Chistmas you -"

Lied to him. She had lied to him again. "Castle, I thought we were through that. If this is just an opportunity to go back over -"

"No, no. I promise that isn't what this is, Kate. I'm just - trying to explain. It's like I've developed this default setting of 'wait for Kate' which -" he winced, and continued "Despite it's unfortunate rhyme scheme, had served me pretty well."

She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help it. She shakes her head and laughs, just a little. Because, really. Her writer. Always her writer. When that thought sweeps over her, it drowns out everything else. In that moment, her decision is made.

But Castle presses on, and she lets him. His five minutes. He gave her five years.

"Because, Kate - the one thing I could be sure of was that when I pushed, hell, even nudged, you ran. So I stopped. I just shifted back to default mode. And maybe that was cowardly, but it seemed effective. So, it wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted, Kate. I just didn't say it. Because I was afraid."

She forces down the threatening tears. It hurts to hear. It hurts a lot. Because she's been trying, especially since Christmas. But, yes knowing his history, knowing what she knows now, she can see how they got here. How she's earned this moment.

"I was afraid, Kate. Because you are so much more than a partner, than a girlfriend. You always have been. You're my best friend, you're my - person. Of anyone in the world, outside of my mother and daughter, you're the first person that's made me want to rush through my day, just to get to the part where I see you, in so long. And I think, in the past, I tried to force my relationships, tried to create that feeling. As if having a document that said "You are a family" would make it so. I could just shape the world to my will, like my life was a page in a book."

She closes her eyes, nods. She steps just a little closer, in support really. Because she can see it, clearly. The lonely little boy in a sea of would be friends, but no one to call his. The man, trying to create the life he craves regardless of the resistance he should have been heeding. Oh, she knows now, she does.

"You can't do that, though. I, for a long time, I thought it was the commitment that was the problem. Or me. I just wasn't made for it, maybe. But after I met you, it felt like for the first time I really had that. That feeling I'd been looking for was there with you, and the boys and just - everything. In all the crazy situations we've been in, Kate, I've always been happier with you than anywhere else."

"Me too," she says quietly. It's worth it when he steps closer still, lets his fingers drift over her cheek back into her hair. She realizes he's shaking. She wants to take his hand, steady him. But she can't make herself move.

"It matters to me, Kate it matters so much that I was afraid that if I told you what I wanted, it would be too much. But you're right. You deserve to know. You asked me what I wanted, so here it is:

Every time you leave, or I do, I want to tell you not to go. I want to beg you to let me stay. It doesn't really matter which. I want to watch you talk about course selections with my daughter, and come home to find you having tea with my mother. I want to watch you sleep in my bed and I don't ever care how creepy you think the staring is, because you are just so damn beautiful, I can't help but look."

She huffs out a laugh, but it's a breathless, watery thing. She doesn't even know what is happening right now. Something has begun to tingle in the back of her mind but she can't process anything but him. The intense blue of his eyes.

"I have something for you," he says softly. "I had it made, and it took a while, but I think, maybe I got it right in the end. You would think I could have just found something, but really before I just let -" he cuts himself off shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. I looked, back around Valentines Day but it wasn't right, I couldn't find anything so I found a designer."

He's pulled back, just a little, reaching into his pocket. Kate's blood is rushing, something singing through her system that feels like a live wire. Because, suddenly, she's getting this.

He holds out the ring. "I never knew how they did it, but there's this whole crazy process. Sketches, then a wax mock up. They cast the thing, then melt the wax out of the center to make this mold and..."

It's amazing. Perfect. It's her.

"Castle," she says, a voice that doesn't even sound like her own. She reaches out, runs her finger gently along the edges of his face to stall the story. God help her, he's found a tangent right in the middle of - this. Her ridiculous, wonderful man. But, she needs him to know. "Castle, I wasn't trying to - I wasn't pushing for...I wasn't asking you to -"

"I know," he says, cutting off her awkward ramble. "I know. "And I want you to know, Kate, I'm not here right now because you asked where we were going. Not really. The truth is, it was ready a few weeks before that, but I was afraid you might, well - "

Bolt, she thinks. This man who has created nearly five novels and a diamond ring for her. He'd been so terrified she'd push him away, he'd pulled back instead. And as much as that had hurt, she understood it. Had been guilty of it herself for a year and - holy hell, he'd made her a ring. It hits her suddenly. This is happening. To her. Now.

He's staring down at her, because she's in her bare feet. This is happening in her bare feet and pajamas, her hair just beginning to air dry. In her wildest, most bizarre dreams, she could not have imagined this. They stare silently at one another. She thinks he's watching her process it.

Finally, he gives a single, slow nod. "I know you weren't asking Kate. But I am. I'm asking you to wear this for me. That's all it has to be for now. But I want you to know, I want the world to know, all I want is you. So I'm asking. I'm asking for always. All I need from you is an answer."


End file.
